There are few images that have, since I was young, pushed my heartbeat just for considering them. One has a spot on the map. Thalassophobia. Pertaining web-found pictures below.
I figure I can count myself lucky in that growing up, I didn’t have any powerful conscious fears. No horrible occurrences or losses. As far as I can say, most of it was pretty idyllic. Well-loved, secure and quiet child, creeks and forts in the woods. There’s probably relevant stuff that could use unpacking, but I since I was a kid, I think the one genuinely pinpoint-able, palpable image that scared me was being out at sea, perhaps swimming atop a very deep body of water, while a huge sea creature swam underneath, perhaps just immense and unaware, perhaps hungry enough to come up for a tiny morsel…
Jormungandr, Bloop, Cirein-Croin, Kraken, a really big whale. Doesn’t matter. Just something so big, it’s hard to imagine being next to it. Probably more pertinent to my own world these days – angels. Not necessarily ones that might gobble me up in less than a bite. I figure something that’s more likely present to help us through, and I, often pull kicking and screaming, toward the things I think are best.
So, resistance. To the forces, the angels, that guide us. They’re busy right now steering us, whispering in our ears, timing the traffic lights, shaping in ways unseen, the events in our lives to generate our futures. And we fuss. I fuss, fight, complain and wish for the otherwise. And they’re IMMENSE. And we’re pulling against it all. At them. I see myself sometimes, a fisherman on a tiny boat out in the middle of the deepest sea, hook snagged on the eyelid of the giant sea-monster, an island beneath, heaving with all my might.
Futile but, on the other hand, this is the way humans are built. These are the forces of nature at play, maybe forever.
“It’s the art of the moon to come pull at the sea, it’s the charge of the sun to come fracture the nighttime.
With the shadows beside and the seraphine sighted, let the fisherman heave at Leviathan’s eyelid.”
I Fight the Angels – MiloSolo (band version forthcoming)